Comments on: Adventures in Acquiring Lacquer: Suits & Shoplifters

By: valeria

valeria — Fri, 01 May 2009 05:08:01 +0000

Man I feel so bad when I hear about this. I’m also a latina 100% Mexican but I guess from the people I’ve grown up with I’m considered “white washed”. So for me it’s the opposite. I’ll go into a mexican mom and pop shop and I can hear the clerks or customers speaking about me in spanish and i’m like umm hello!!!!! i can hear you!!! and when i go to department stores like that i notice that everything’s fine when i’m with my white friends but when one of my good friends [who's black] comes, they keep a watchful eyes on us. It also pisses me off that we’re all in our 20’s we’re not stupid high schoolers!! ughhhhhh!

By: pretear

pretear — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 00:58:19 +0000

Yea, I’ve actually heard that a lot from friends. That bias is as rampant as racial or class bias but gets less attention. It’s very frustrating.

By: Laura

Laura — Tue, 25 Nov 2008 20:01:29 +0000

I’m sorry you had to experience that! I have never had the same experience, but this reminds me of something that really upset me a few years back. I got a job as a patient transporter in the hospital and was walking my ass off all day – literally. I lost about 30 lbs and could never get over how differently I was treated when I went shopping as my slimmer self. Sales people were so much friendlier, and really went out of their way to help. I would always leave frustrated, because I knew that the only thing that had changed about me was my weight. It’s amazing how much people really do judge you based solely on your physical appearance, whether it’s race, weight, age, or dress.

By: pretear

pretear — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 15:31:46 +0000

Karen – That’s actually a really good idea because at those high end stores they work off commission so you’re actually hurting them by getting another sales associate.

Outre – Geez. It’s like two annoying extremes, retailers need to get their employees under control. (As a side note, I hate Coach it’s so nouveau riche.)

By: outre

outre — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 05:51:10 +0000

I’ve experience that as well, not so much hovering just the huge contrast of ‘help’ I get when I dress ‘trendy’ vs normal. At SOHO MAC, I got ignored… I was in hoodie and jeans, was commuting 2hrs each way for a hell-hole of a job and decided to hop over there during lunch for a little pick me up. erm, nope but.. the minute, no wait the second two ladies with COACH bag walks in all the sales aids rushed over to them. Meanwhile I had been standing there with a long list of stuff I wanted. When someone finally realized I was actually buying I just handed him the list and essentially told him to fetch those items. Normally I tell them what I want… but than at express I guess I looked really trendy that day b/c I couldn’t go five feet w/o a new SA asking me if I wanted their help. I rushed out b/c I wanted to browse in peace and clearly wasn’t going to happen.

By: Karen [kconnel57]

Karen [kconnel57] — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 16:22:34 +0000

oh that makes me so angry! aarggh. I’m sorry you had to experience that. grandma always used to say “can’t judge a book by its cover”, and “always treat people the way you would like to be treated”. BTW I love Karina’s response to the woman who told her it was a $200 purse. I ask if there’s another sales associate around when I experience such rudeness. Or else just walk away; they obviously don’t need the business.

By: pretear

pretear — Sun, 16 Nov 2008 21:34:37 +0000

To everyone – I’m going to reply to you all individually but I just had to say, wow, thank you so much to all of you for taking the time to read such a long entry and giving me so many amazingly thoughtful replies. I wrote this post a few months ago but never posted it because I figured most people wouldn’t care to read it. I’m really glad this post gave people an opportunity to vent their frustrations with mistreatment. But at the same time, I’m really sad that so many of you have had similar experiences.

Katee – Yea, it seems like from everyone’s responses this sort of treatment is an epidemic.

Amanda – I do most my shopping online too and I find myself being overly nice to shop attendants when I do shop at brick & mortars just to avoid the bad treatment.

Jordan – I usually do that too, I’ve left many stores but sometimes I do buy things despite the bad treatment against my better judgment.

Steph – Wow, that’s pretty blatant. I understand watching people that are behaving suspiciously but watching people just because of their skin color is really not an effective way to handle loss prevention.

Ocelot – I feel that way too, It’s like I grew up here… I *am* American even though I’m not white.

Abby – lol. Yea, I mean you just have to deal for the love of polish.

Geraldine – Don’t feel bad about that, sometimes you can’t help personal biases. I used to work in a really high end jean stores and I was super rude to the all the ultra wealthy people who shopped there – it goes both ways.

Rachel – Yea, I agree, I mean I still think in my case it was racially tinged but I know that shop attendants treat people dressed down differently regardless of race.

Mariah – lol. It’s okay. It was pretty funny when it happened – this sort of thing doesn’t hurt my feelings because I’ve just come to accept that some people are just stupid.

Jennifer – Exactly, when I worked retail we kept an eye on people without being rude. And I totally understand how you feel about your son. It is a real problem. Make sure your son knows his 5th and 6th amendment rights. Sometimes there is nothing one can do about being arrested without cause but down the line some State Attorney is going to look at the case and say hey, this is an illegal stop or search and they are going drop the case. That’s basically what I do as an intern, I read cases files and decide whether we can move forward on the case based on the merits. I constantly recommend dropping cases where someone’s constitutional rights are violated.

Brooke – Man, what’s sick is that guy wasn’t away that it was socially unacceptable to make a statement like that. I think this past election really shed some light on the unspoken racism that exists in the U.S. At least I can say that I truly believe we are making some progress.

Katia – That’s so frustrating and infuriating! I don’t even know how to respond to your story, some people are just so ignorant. It sickens me when people discriminate against honest hard working people because of xenophobia.

Ninarz – : P Well, I dunno how much stealing you have to do when you can see dead people, you can just make your money telling fortunes.

Melanie – Book stores can be really bad especially because in a book store you necessarily *have* to spend some time poking around, reading book covers if you want to buy something good.

Fifrildi – lol – yes, a mohawk is definitely going to turn some unwanted heads.

The Asian Girl – Ah, my boyfriend did his internship at the US Attorney’s Office in Pensacola, he said it was like a cultural black hole.

Chrissy – : ) It’s really okay, I mean this sort of stuff doesn’t hurt my feelings but I feel like if we don’t share these sort of stories we’re all going to continue living in a vacuum where the myth of racial and social equality pervades.

Weedita – Yea, unfortunately that’s very true. : ( Some of these stores work on a commission, you would think attendants would just try to sell anything to anyone instead of being rude and losing a possible sale.

Patatafrita – It’s most likely a mixture of both, like a step ladder of rudeness, know what I mean?

Raeyi – LOL. Maybe I should just bring him some crime scene photos to look at while I shop.

Anicegirl – Ooooh that’s right nurses have a lot of trouble with nail polish, right?

Diana – After reading everyone’s replies I’m just starting to feel like it might be better to call these people out on the spot. Say, hey, I want to speak to your manager – you’re being incredibly rude to me.

Pinky – lol. Yea, it’s really silly considering what I want to do with my career. If things go as planned I’ll be prosecuting shop lifters, certainly I don’t do anything to jeopardize my goals.

J7 – Wow. They aren’t allowed to accuse you of stealing unless they’re *seen* you stealing, you could have slapped them with a law suit for that.

KD – I could not possibly agree with you more. You pretty much summed up my experiences in that paragraph. And thank you. : )

Annie – Whoa. That is really really unacceptable. I’m glad you called management about that, hopefully they did the right thing.

Sanna – : ) Thank you.

Karina – lol, I’m glad you said something to her about it, next time she’ll think twice.

Mayra – My mother once was mistaken for a shop attendant by an elderly white woman, despite the fact that she was wearing a very cute outfit and wearing a purse. I got SO angry, I actually made a huge scene and yelled at the woman. I don’t get so angry when I experience discrimination but when people are rude to my mother, I flip my shit.

Jody – Wow. I hope your boyfriend stop shopping there, that store doesn’t deserve his business.

By: Jody

Jody — Sun, 16 Nov 2008 18:12:48 +0000

Ohhhh, this happened to my boyfriend just the other day at a wine shop. He usually goes in dressed in slacks, shirt/tie which he wears to work and the guy always recognizes him, makes suggestions, etc. He went in the last weekend in jeans and a t-shirt. (Decent jeans and tee mind you). And the guy not only didn’t even recognize him (he usually calls him by name) but when he asked for a certain wine the guys says “oh, that one is expensive and turns away”. He was appalled. I told my bf that he should have introduced himself and made the guy feel like an a-hole.

By: Mayra

Mayra — Sun, 16 Nov 2008 06:14:14 +0000

I am soo sorry that happened to you! I’ve had similar experiences aswell mostly for the dressing part. I am also latina but most people would not know it unless they asked me or heard me speak Spanish. But when me and my mom go shopping ( my mom looks a lot more hispanic than i do) we have a hard time getting people to help us. We see nicely dressed and majority Caucasian women being helped out while we are just left waiting. Its just not a good feeling to think that you are not being treated equally for the simple reasons of not being white or dressed nicely enough.

By: Karina

Karina — Sat, 15 Nov 2008 21:29:01 +0000

I had a similar experience years ago. I was dressed in jeans and a t-shirt, on a Wednesday morning. I asked to see a purse. The sales associate said, in a snotty tone “That is a two hundred dollar purse”. So, I replied back “First of all dear, I did not ask how much the purse was, I asked to see it. Second, you have quite an attitiude for someone that has to work”.
Mind you, I work very hard as well, just not your typical nine to five hours.

By: Sanna

Sanna — Sat, 15 Nov 2008 18:21:17 +0000

I totally know what you’re talking about! It makes me so mad! Very good reading. Rock on!

By: Annie

Annie — Sat, 15 Nov 2008 16:57:12 +0000

I’ve had this problem, although I’m white. I look young for my age. When U go shopping I must wear jeans, nice shoes, and carry a purse (sometimes I jst stick my wallet in my pocket or my pants) I’m treated so much better than when I show up in a sweatshirt and sneakers. Once In dillards I was with my friend, who is about fve years older, but looks really young too (shes shorter than me!) we both got accused of stealing someones cell phone they left in the dressing room we were using. Wehn I got home I called there office, and the clerk who accused us denied it, saying she just “asked us where it was.” BS, since she unlocked the dressing room while i was in it changing, and asked to look through my purse.

By: KD

KD — Sat, 15 Nov 2008 06:45:59 +0000

A lot of people are saying that it must’ve only been due to the way you were dressed, and don’t get me wrong, I experience the very same treatment here in NYC when I’m dressed down vs. when I’m dressed nicely. What bothers me though (in general and not necessarily in these comments) is that people really think you’re paranoid or crazy when you’ve experienced racial discrimination, however slight. I’m black and sometimes people’s responses to my feelings about these situations are sometimes, “No I don’t think it’s because you’re a person of color”, or “Oh I’m sure it was just in your head”. The thing is this: we sort of know and can sense these things because we may have lived with this type of thing our whole lives and we can pick up on nuances… it’s not always just perceived. I don’t think most of us are that paranoid that we’d make every situation out to be a racially/ethnically motivated one in our heads. It’s almost like you can never forget your skin color or ethnicity… ever. No offense to anyone of course, but you cannot begin to know what it’s like, except maybe by association. So with that being said, I don’t think it’s in your head. You know what you know.
On a lighter note, “Hi, my name is KD and I’m a polish addict!” Oh and I love your blog :-)

By: j7

j7 — Sat, 15 Nov 2008 05:21:23 +0000

Something like that happened to me before. I was in a store and I was wearing a leather jacket and stuff like that and probably looked rough around the edges. I put my hands in my pockets a couple times and then a customer told the manager I stole something. She said she used to be a security guard so she knows when people are stealing, but I would absolutely NEVER steal. People can be so judgemental because of looks.

By: Pinky

Pinky — Sat, 15 Nov 2008 05:06:38 +0000

Two major points I agree on:
1. As a [hopefully] future prosecutor I ALWAYS get asked if I ever see dead bodies, and if i am OK with that. Yes, I will see them, and obviously I am not OK with that, but it is part of the job and I made peace with it.
2. Every time I go shopping in casual clothes I get snubbed by 80% of SA’s. It is sad b/c I am so much more educated than they are, and will make so much more money and yet they think they can disrespect me b/c i am in sweats. I never get that treatment when I wear a suit. And I am totally white too, so I can only imagine how difficult it must be for you.

People are asses and that’s that! efff them!