Win 44 Bottles of Rescue Beauty Lounge Nail Polish

Yup, you read that right, check it out at allure.com

This is serious. 44 bottles of Rescue Beauty Lounge is pretty much all I’ve ever wanted out of life. I’m thinking I might have to resort to some of the ol’ folk magic from the mother country so as to increase my chances of winning this giveaway. My mom told me something once about breaking a double yolked egg over an upside down straw broom… or something. Ok maybe not, but Animal sacrifice would help for sure, right? Geez, I can’t hurt animals… a giant can of chicken breast from Costco that my mom bought for me when I first left home 6 years ago and has been sitting in my cupboard since then… would that be ok? Maybe sacrifice goat cheese instead of a whole living goat? Ugh, where’s a first-born when you need one.

Ok – I know what I have to do.

Hand Turkey.

You have served me well throughout elementary school as my Thanksgiving Day art project. Yes, indeed, many gold stars have resulted from your efforts on my behalf. Remember that year when I drew you and your entire turkey family? Hours of staring down at my hands to create that masterpiece, perhaps, was the genesis of my current love, nail polish. But now, it is time for you to fulfill a greater destiny. You will be sacrificed to the nail polish gods so that the evil Ji Baek, arbiter of expensive polishes, may bestow upon me a most amazing bounty. Hand turkey, you will be missed.

Hand Turkey

RIP

1990 – 2008

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